10.22.2010

I was reading reddit and…

found many silly pick up lines and jokes all mashed up in one thread:

"Your face looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a fork".

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Roses are red

Violets are blue

Make me a sandwich

Or your eye will be too

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“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because your face is all fucked up.”

Walk up to a girl and rub your t-/shirt and say to her, "You know what type of material this is?" Invite her to rub it. She'll make a silly guess or say no, then you say, "That's boyfriend material."

Did it hurt?  What?  When you crawled your way up from the bowels of hell?

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Me: yoyo girl you said not to message if all i wanted was casual sex. so im messaging you for some serious, deliberate, premeditated sex. hit me back

Her: You so funny

Me: yeah baby girl im a regular loony tune. howd you like some elmer in your fudd?

Her: I'd love it and I've always wanted someone to ask me that exact question

Me: yeah girl i'mma pepe your pew. when you gonna let me hit that

EDIT: SHE STOPPED MESSAGING ME BEFORE I COULD PORKY HER PIG

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Guy: "Do you want to play army?"

Girl: "How?"

Guy: "Well I lay down and you blow the hell out of me"

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can see myself in your pants

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